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Alternative Activewear


Regular price $10.00 AUD
Regular price Sale price $10.00 AUD
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Day got ya feelin’ like, ‘FUUUCK’? Considering bailing on class coz ya just fucking CBF tonight? Well no fucking worries, because we’ve invented a session for those who get mad cases of the CBF’s on the regs, but still have that nagging feeling that they should be doing some sort of moving.

Sooo...we’re kinda, sorta offering some low-movement activities with the option of doing a fuck load of nothing. Zilch.

No need for excuses here, because we don’t give a FUCK. Get ya butt logged in with the peace of mind knowing that there are no expectations of ya here, lie there for all we care, no one will give a flying turd!

Join ya Head Coach and resident bad arse, Sabina—whom also has no fucks to give about whether or not you move during class—for a leisurely round of low-impact or low-low-impact alternatives.

Want a sneak peak of the journey ahead... How about, the choice between TWO pushups, or, fucking nothing— just lie there instead and fucking chill you zen mofo. We know what you’re thinking, this must be a fucking joke, but no—it’s a real class we’re offering and we reckon you’ll bloody love it.

If those show pony fitness posts, plop-arse apps and stinkin’ programs are gettin’ up ya bloody goat with their false hopes and shit dreams, then this class is for you. We’re not tellin’ ya to give up on moving altogether— we’re just offering a class for those times when you want to do something, but that something isn’t exercise.

Anyone with injuries or ailments thinkin’ they can’t join in—this ain’t a regular class and you’re fucking welcome to participate. Don’t feel frustrated because ya can’t move like you used to, or maybe you simply just can’t fucking be bothered right now. Get amongst the BROKEN crew for shits ’n' gigs—ya never know, you might actually enjoy doing a few things here 'n’ there! No pressure, though!

Turning up is more than half the battle, and we hope by offering zero expectations, you might just have a surprisingly good fucking time. Incentives include Sabina’s witty banter, and a like-minded, non-judgy crew that will support you for just being there.

Dress warm ’n’ comfy, wear anything that allows movement. Each sesh you’ll need to bring a cushion (or pillow), band (or tie/scarf), a blanket, and be ready lying on your mat (or towel or rug).

ZERO fitness required. Fitness for those that really don’t want to.

Adult themes, strictly grown up vibes required.